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1, Because you don't keep lowballing your best player and a hard-working team leader and star, especially when there's no need to. That just alienates the team.
3. Tagging players forever means lowballing them and that's bad management because it means sending the team the wrong message. Work hard for us, do everything the right way, be productive, and, we will underpay you for years.

I agree with you, but suspect it's bigger than this. It's not just the team, this contract has to look good to the agents and every other player in the league, especially those who might be free agent targets in the future.
This isn't like TruJo where everyone knew he'd test the market and be overpaid. This is the top defensive player in the league. In a time when player/owner relations are in an odd place, you don't disrespect a player like AD by stringing him along with a franchise tag. We don't want the reputation of being a team that doesn't respect its players at contract time.
If it were just a matter of 20 mil a year, this deal would be done yesterday. I think it's a matter of contract length, guaranteed money, frontloading,etc. (Along with the per year).