after a show I always feel like crap.. I usually puke around 4am after every show - so much adrenaline, totally dehydrated, too much makeup etc.. I am worried about my ability to perform like that right now with the heart issues.. I can't walk up 3 flights of stairs without being winded right now.. it would take a butt load of cardio to be able to do a show - if I was even able..

But, I CAN'T just stop playing.. a lifetime of practice and getting myself to where I'm able to do what I do the way I want.. I can't walk away from that very easily.. but, with the lack of serious musicians around here with my vision, it may be inevitable..

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Friendship is like peeing your pants.. Everybody can see it, but only you can feel the warmth..