My 4th of July plans...

I have been invited to a party... and I have been informed that I HAVE to go. I hate parties.

So in a few hours I'll get ready... shorts, Hawaiian shirt, white straw fedora, load my lawn chair and go the party.... making sure everyone knows I'm not happy about it.

At the party I will sit in a lawn chair... have one, maybe two beer and then probably nod off for a short while. Two beer is my limit these days.

People will want to talk to me about various things - if they force me to be sociable I will hi-jack their topics into either Ram's talk or youth sports.

I will be asked to Karaoke. <giggle, laugh, chortle> Because I'm in a band they think it means I can sing... knuckleheads. I will decline using the excuse that I only use Sennheiser mics.

Dozens of people will come up to me and say, "Hi Jimmy, how ya doing"... and I won't have a clue what their name is.

All of which leads me to this: Don't you wish you had invited me to your party this evening?