he stole my workout routine

But I'm pulling an empty Radio Flyer instead. (look it up, kids)

Our college baseball coach used to want his pitchers to run a mile in under 6 minutes. Best I could do (and I was in shape) was about 6:05. A few years ago I saw him at an event and instead of saying hello, he said "ever run that six minute mile?"

I replied "coach, I get winded driving that far these days."

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