After I parked my car in the above ground parking garage and began my walk to the courthouse it dawned up that I had not walked in downtown Fresno in a very VERY long time. I seldom drive thru it. And I'll be honest.. at first, it intrigued me. All pavement, sidewalks, alleys, not a patch of dirt anywhere. Many 'characters'... some homeless, some very well to do. Lot of 'suits'... some sexy ladies... walk and wait traffic signs. Many small businesses. jewelry, cafes, pawn shops... new and used clothing wear... banks... you name it. Lot of the 'skyscrapers' in downtown Fresno, most I think, deserted as the city has sprawled but the ground level still doing somewhat well, or seeming so. And yes... I was intrigued... interested. I watched people working in alleys with the awareness that they do this every single day. I saw couriers on bikes... I didn't know they existed in Fresno.
So I arrived at the courthouse happy, NOT BECAUSE OF JURY DUTY, but simply seeing for the first time in a long time 'city life' up close.
As luck would have it I was chosen to go to a courtroom to be one of maybe 100 people who might be chosen to serve. (I have not, as yet, but I have to return tomorrow and I think it inevitable... everybody else has a brother, or relative, in prison and HATES the police, judges, you name it... they're being dismissed by the dozens... so anyway.. being chosen...
I didn't get a break until around 10:30... a short break... and I went into the hallway.. bored out of my mind, hating it. Fresno courthouse doesn't have windows, per se, they DO, but outside the windows is a facade that pretty much hides everything unless you peek thru the openings in the facade. From the outside you'd never know it had windows at all.
So there I stood, 6th floor, staring out... at the 'free people'. And that's when I noticed:
Looking thru the holes in the faces, between the high rises, over the rooftops, and beyond the trees in yards and parks... THERE IT WAS...
Wide open spaces.. this time of year golden in color out on the horizon... the country, my home.
It was then that it all came crashing down on me... I was in 'prison'.... not metaphorically, but actual prison. I quickly forgot the quaintness of the 'city', the 'characters'.. the hot dog joints... the traffic lights... OUT BEYOND paradise beckoned... but beyond my reach. I was literally a fish out of water.
If a gifted photographer had been outside, and zoomed in to see thru the small openings in the courthouse facade.... he could have snapped a photo me peaking out.... one tear running down my cheek... exactly like that Indian who hated pollution. The photo would have won him a Pulitzer.
When I was released, after being told I had to return tomorrow morning... I literally RAN to the parking garage.... fired my car up, and RACED out of town... until I exited the buildings, and manicured yards, and railroad tracks, and traffic lights.... and saw dirt again... at which time...
I could breathe again. I was out on parole... and even if for only briefly.. I again felt human. - JamesJM
