This isn't about dementia itself.... we all know the tragedy that it is.
Visited a friend who suffers from dementia, he is of my Dad's generation... a lot older than I. In his case the dementia was very rapid in onset... just a couple of months ago, the last time I spoke with him, I could only slightly tell that he was suffering any effects. Ok, to point...
I read, and had been told, people with dementia can often recall - in great detail - distant memories. So when i went to visit that was my 'plan'... to spur a distant memory and then simply sit back an allow him to regale me with tales of yore. I was fortunate, however... he did remember me... although now the effects of his dementia are quite apparent.
I hit a home run on my very first attempt.... old time 'hunting' stories from long ago when several farmers in this area would rent a piece of land for hunting. On the land was a broken down cabin, only a few of us able to find a place where there was enough roof left to protect us from rain. I began the story by saying something like, "I remember when Fatty (nickname for a farmer in this area), stabbed Pete in the leg with his pocket knife....".... that's as far as I got... Anthony, my friend with dementia, took it from there.
And other than saying 'goodbye' I'm not sure I got another word into the conversation; which lasted about an hour. Laughs, raucous laughs, tales I had heard many times and a few I had never heard before.
I remember after saying "Goodbye" Anthony offered, "We should rent that place again"... and it occurred to me that for him... in his condition... the future was still as wide open and alluring as it was back when he was young. I don't think he feels as if any time has passed since those golden and wild days of his youth... that they continue, unabated.
So as odd as this is.... after departing I felt both great sorrow and great happiness. Can't make too much sense of those two extremes but there it is. I hope to visit with him again soon. - JamesJM
