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I really shouldn't be allowed out in public...

November 01, 2018 10:46AM
I'm getting worse. I don't like talking on a phone... I don't like chatting at the local grocery store/hardware store... I don't like talking to people. laughing smiley

Now that's a big exaggerated... but it also has a great deal of truth in it.

The last couple of days I thought I was going to pull my hair when I got involved in 3 different conversations with 3 different people, (wrong word, I didn't say anything it was the other person) that went on and on and on and on until I thought I was going to snap. One, in particular, was the all time record....

Hired an electrician... didn't know the guy... he does work for Costco, (independent guy), and my son-in-law knows him well so he offered to do the job for me. He came out yesterday to look over the job so he could get the supplies needed.

So Ok... this is a visual tale so not sure it's going to play well in written word.

I'll begin with this... I now know the guy's entire life's story. Standing by his pickup, in my front yard... he had been non-stop talking for... ohhhhh, at least 45 minutes... which is 44 more than I can tolerate. So he's talking... I'm seeking my mental 'happy spot' to keep from going completely whacko... WHEN....

Suddenly there was a pain... something had bitten me, or stung me... then a couple of seconds later MORE pain, another bite, or sting. So I'm doing the 'pain dance'... slapping the living hell out of my shoulder..... the guy didn't even pause in his story.

It's under the sleeve of my shirt so I'm beating myself half to death in hopes of killing whatever was in there..... then I'm shaking my shirt trying to get rid of it... the guy doesn't pause, doesn't ask, just keeps telling me his 'getting even with his boss' story.

Finally I locate the critter, whatever it was, then the other... and manage to shake them loose from my shirt sleeve. Two bees hit the concrete at my feet. Both had stung me leaving the stingers in place which were still pumping venom. So I'm still doing a bit of the pain dance.

The bees hit the concrete and the guy says, "oh, a bee"... and then without taking a breath continues on with his story. I've been around talkers before...many of them.. have a couple in my immediate family... but THIS guy... he wins the World's Championship Talker.

Epilogue... even after the bee incident he talked for at least another 20 minutes.... all the time the venom pumping into my arm. FINALLY... I broke free, can't remember what I said but it worked... went into the house where my wife found the two stingers firmly attached. She laughed.... I didn't think it was that funny.... oh maybe the stingers were funny, but the one hour+ conversation? I'd prefer to be attacked by killer bees... a belligerent badger, a bi-polar gopher on a bad hair day.

He's coming back to do the job on Monday... I won't be here. - JamesJM
SubjectAuthorViewsPosted

  I really shouldn't be allowed out in public...

JamesJM36November 01, 2018 10:46AM

  Holy cow I feel for ya...

sstrams13November 01, 2018 11:42AM

  My neighbor

waterfield18November 01, 2018 01:05PM

  LOL, I know him well...

JamesJM11November 01, 2018 01:14PM

  I've been known to do that

IowaRam11November 01, 2018 02:24PM

  Re: My neighbor

MamaRAMa18November 01, 2018 07:53PM

  Mama, I don't know what it is about us..

sstrams18November 02, 2018 05:15AM

  Garrison Keillor on Prairie Home Companion

waterfield13November 01, 2018 08:25PM

  Re: I really shouldn't be allowed out in public...

IowaRam10November 01, 2018 02:19PM

  I call them Duck...

RamsFootballFans.com15November 02, 2018 03:27AM