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Ramgator

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What do YALL think??????

Well...you've got a lot to unpack here gator.

A couple of thoughts off the top of my head:

1) As of the last report from Walden PD (mid-July), your son is "doing just fine." Like you alluded to, THIS is the most important thing.

2) I know that it likely doesn't feel this way, but please be happy that you're talking about your youngest son bolting to Walden, NY meet a girl he met on the internet. Trust me...as the father of an 18-year daughter, I can tell you that your anxiety level would be increased by a factor of 100 if you were talking about your DAUGHTER bolting to Walden, NY (or Nigeria...or Peru...or wherever) to meet a boy she met on the internet.

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I told my Son.....You BETTER wrap that Puppy up...

3) This is good advice! As a former 20-year old, though, I suspect that it might have been long-forgotten (as in, the next early morning or so when she rolled over to his side of the bed). Fortunately, I believe that women are much smarter and more mature than guys. Which means that, if the girl is in her 20's as well, she's likely taking her pill...when she remembers to.

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Here it is...Mid October and we still have not heard a peep.

4) By your own admission, you laid into him the last time you spoke. Def not blaming you for that. But when you take that into account (and some hard feelings he likely perceives as being harbored by his mom and brother), I suspect that he believes any contact with family now will UNDER THE VERY BEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES be at least "awkward." Again, as a former 20-year old...I can tell you that I wasn't mature enough to engage in something like that.

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I have ZEEEEEEERO respect for a "Mother" who would allow a 20 year old stranger but to the internet, move up from Florida and sleep in the same bed as my Daughter.

5) I'm unsure whether or not you have "the full story" on how all of this went down between your son, the girl, and the mother. But, if you suspect that you don't, I'd have you consider whether or not the mom might have been initially faced with a situation where her daughter told her that she was thinking of moving from Walden, NY to Florida in order to shack up with some 20-year old kid she'd met online? If mom had the slightest inkling that her daughter juuuuust might be capable of some mischief like that...I suspect that she might entertain other (crazy) options - especially if she/her situation is "unstable."

My not-so-simple input:

I suspect that, ultimately, your goal would be to reestablish/rehabilitate/repair the family relationships. Though def do-able, given what has transpired since the spring...this isn't something that is likely to occur overnight.

However, there are some short-term goals (i.e. reestablishment of simple contact) that might be attainable.

As the one who appears to have the best relationship with your son, I would suggest you taking on this responsibility. We know that, back in July, the Walden PD was able to conduct a welfare check. This suggests to me that someone on your side of the family has the girl's first and last name at the very least. I don't believe that Walden is a very big place and that might be all you need to track her (and, ultimately, your son) down.

I'd actually consider hiring a private investigator for the sole purpose of obtaining an address for the family and writing him a letter seeking an opportunity to simply "catch-up" over the holidays. Give him the location of a local (i.e. Walden) restaurant and date/times that you'll be there. I say "times" because (not knowing his employment situation) you need to be prepared to meet him in the morning, afternoon, or evening (whatever works for him).

Because you wouldn't have given him an option to say "no," I bet that he'd be curious to show up just to see if you showed up. And when he sees that you did, I bet dollars to donuts that he's not gonna leave you hangin'.

And, as you've already gotten some heavy things off of your chest, I suspect that both you and he would only be interested in truly "catching up."

I wouldn't look at it as a problem-solver...but more of a conversation starter.

I'd also consider PM'ing the board moderators in an effort to petition for the reconsideration of some recent poster bannings. I suspect that someone like PHDram would be of great assistance in this situation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2021 10:21AM by ramBRO.