Oh, I came to grips with the fact that I'll never amount to anything musically, but I haven't "given up" on it yet - I just can't.. Right now, I'm in a situation where I just hope and pray I finally finish what I've been writing for years and get it recorded.. the smartest thing would have been to just find a drummer and hit the studio and let the studio wizards do the dirty work.. Once I get my stuff recorded, maybe it'll just be a road map FOR a studio..

Its just so damn frustrating.. I know deep down I had whatever it took to make it.. just in bands you are only as strong as your weakest link and nobody around here ever was willing to do the work necessary to make it.. it was all partying and chicks and whatnot.. While I realize its probably never going to happen, I still won't give up on it totally.. if I had, I sure wouldn't be recording right now..

Just one national tour in support of my own music.. With that I could at least die somewhat happy.. But if it ever even happened, I know I'd have to put the band together outside of this town..

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Friendship is like peeing your pants.. Everybody can see it, but only you can feel the warmth..