I was very early on into the computer age. Apple II. AND... I very early on started the whole 'update as soon as it came out' thing.

My cousin was like this as well.. fellow farmer. And so... he and I bought modem's as soon as they hit the shelves. This was so early on that there was no internet, to speak of. Modems were used to hook two, (or more), computers together via land line... in the beginning that is.

One day in my farm office my cousin and I were hooking them up for the very first time. My Dad was in the office with me and a chemical salesman, (good friend), was visiting.. his name was James Allen. My cousin a few miles away in his office connecting his modem.

We got them to work.. we could type messages to each other... we were in 'awe'. I hadn't bothered to tell my Dad what I was doing... computers, modems, completely alien to him as well as to James Allen.

James Allen got curious as to what I was up too... and I tried to explain but he wasn't getting it. Jerry, my cousin and on the other end of my modem connection, was aware of me talking to James Allen. So I told James, (devious person I am) that he could type a question and get an answer almost immediately... he had no idea it was Jerry on the other end of the connection.

I was teasing James that he would soon be out of a job... telling him I could find out which chemical, where it was cheapest, by simply asking my computer... and proceeded to do just that... Jerry answering but James doesn't know that.

The joke progressed.

James worked for a company called "Red Top"... so I asked the computer, (Jerry), if Red Top was the best place to buy chemicals... to which Jerry answered, "No. Terrible service".

A few more questions followed, in that vein, until I asked my computer this, "James Allen from Red Top says I should be spreading nitrogen now, should I?" And Jerry answered -

"James Allen doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground".

You could see the blood drain from James's face. You have to remember.. two people talking together on computers was utterly alien to James, and my Dad.

Well... to sum this up... James got even with me.... about a year later... but that's another story. - JamesJM