What the hell.. a stupid story...

I wrote this for... hellll.. I don't know why I wrote this...So the story:

If I had it to do all over again…. ummm, actually I’d change a few things.

Like that time I rode a bull in the rodeo… after drinking a case of Coors. I wouldn’t do that again. Or that time I streaked naked in front of Chub, and friends… that was a bad decision. Gary and Jerry made the same decision as well, in my defense. But the decision to partake of a naughty ‘no no’ in the Haight Ashbury district in the 60’s? That one I might retain… because…

It was a beautiful San Francisco day. Gorgeous. Bright blue skies, a bit nippy but not cold, and the world was our oyster… free, unencumbered, the future was bright. Golden Gate Park was filled with like-minded free spirits. This was Red, Jerry, Me… and the idiot - - - Kelp.

We had purchased a bong at some Haight Ashbury quick stop. We were unfamiliar with this mode of partaking. But… we were also keen college students willing to learn. We went into Golden Gate Park… and found a tree.

It was a very big tree, very. Lots of limbs, big limbs. We scaled it…. onto the largest branch, about 15’ off the ground. And THERE… we decided to test this new device, called a bong. Which we did.

It was about 15 minutes later… maybe 19 hours…. we, the four of us, sitting on a limb like blackbirds on a power line… notice a policeman headed our way, on horseback. We went into ’silent mode’. Sparse leaves on this particular limb but we did our best to conceal our presence. And we did good… stopped giggling anyway….. but we had a companion on the limb unable to maintain. Kelp.

The policeman rode closer, then closer, then even closer, and eventually directly under our limb. All of us like mutes…. silent…. nary a sound… well, perhaps a quiet giggle or two but basically silent.

We were in the clear, or so we thought. The policeman, on horseback, had gone UNDER our limb and was proceeding away, we had survived…. when we discovered that Kelp was not a born tree climber.

He fell off the limb…. missing the horses ass by about 2 feet. Scared the living crap out of the policeman…. and us. 15 feet…. didn’t get one single injury. Up on the limb we maintained our silence… but I think when the policeman looked up, hidden behind three tiny leaves, he spotted us.

I remember Red offering a look of, “hey, we don’t know him either, not sure where he fell from”… But I suspect the policeman didn’t buy it. No matter… the policeman continued on.

When the policeman was a safe distance away we climbed down to inquire about Kelp’s health… not that we cared… but more to admonish him that when using a bong you really shouldn’t fall out of a tree onto a police horses ass. He agreed. Kelp was a wise man, and remains so today.

We proceeded from the ‘close encounter’ to a place where we got ‘last lost’…. but that’s another story. - JamesJM